(This was written a few years ago but the issues haven’t changed.)
The media was all abuzz about Katie Holmes’s filing for divorce from Tom Cruise to avoid forcing her 6 year old daughter to become a scientologist. (That’s only what I’ve heard–fortunately or unfortunately I don’t know the people involved personally.)
I do know that scientology is a cult. It’s not about empowering anybody, it’s about making the church more powerful than your own knowing. That never works in the long run.
As the title suggests, I am in support of Katie Holmes standing up for herself and her daughter. It never works to do otherwise.
I know a couple (now divorced) in which the mother sent her teenage daughter to live with her former in-laws because the mother couldn’t handle the conflict between the teenage daughter and the mom’s new husband. Hearing the story made me cringe inside. If an adult can’t get along with a kid, I tend to think that the adult should be more flexible.
As a mother, I could never send my own child, even a female teenager, difficult as they can be, away to save my own relationship. For me, that would be like cutting out part of my heart–to save a marriage? How could it ever work?
It didn’t–this couple is now divorced, the teenage daughter is now grown and on her own and the mother has missed the precious irretrievable opportunity to contribute to her daughter during her formative years.
If Katie Holmes can’t live with her daughter being subjected to scientology–she should divorce and keep her as far away from it as she can. There is of course a limit–the child’s father is a Scientologist and has an equal right to expose his daughter during his time with her to whatever child-rearing practices he believes are best.
That little bit of reality is something Katie might have considered before having the child–but how we become blind when “in love” is the topic for another post.
If you’d like to see what it takes to create a great relationship that DOESN’T end in divorce, there are plenty of classes here you can sample or purchase. Check them out!
I have to add that I feel for Tom Cruise also in this situation. I have heard from reliable sources that the way scientology keeps its clutches in some of my favorite stars–think John Travolta–is that they get them to admit “out of ethics” events in their lives in writing. They then keep that info and use it to blackmail the stars if they threaten to leave the cult.
Tom Cruise shouldn’t have been out of ethics, you say? Do you know anyone who hasn’t made some mistakes in the past that they would prefer not to see broadcast all over the tabloids and the internet? If you’re that perfect perhaps YOU should be writing this blog and teaching seminars.
Mine are for real people in the real world!